Updated Biweekly.
For a while, I was writing about my past, the beginning of the beginning, when I first ventured into fetish work. It was drawn from a stack of journals and old blog posts I kept during the time, notes I made as I struggled to work through my experiences, decisions, and emotions. Sex work started as a novelty, a way to make rent on the side, but it grew to become a large and sustained part of my life. I've since left it behind, but in a way, the impact of those decisions - positive and negative - will always stay with me.
Now, I'm writing generally. I'll return to my backstory in a bit.
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About me?
The first time I shot with a photographer, I was unbearably awkward. It was a simple headshot, but the concentrated attention of the camera made me uncomfortable. Then I was asked to remove my clothing and I felt myself change. I opened up, I felt perfectly at ease. When we finished, the photographer put down the camera and said, "You know, you're a very different person when you're naked."
I've come to realize that I have two very different states of being, one rational and restrained, the other primal and uninhibited. I seem to be happiest when I'm working alone but too much of it leaves me lost in my own head. Sex has always been a way for me to put my analytical mind to sleep and tap into my animal nature. It brings me balance.
As someone who seems to thrive in a sexual context, I've explored sex work as a nude model, a fetish worker, a call girl, and a courtesan. In this column, I will be writing about the present and my past.
Now, I'm writing generally. I'll return to my backstory in a bit.
*
About me?
The first time I shot with a photographer, I was unbearably awkward. It was a simple headshot, but the concentrated attention of the camera made me uncomfortable. Then I was asked to remove my clothing and I felt myself change. I opened up, I felt perfectly at ease. When we finished, the photographer put down the camera and said, "You know, you're a very different person when you're naked."
I've come to realize that I have two very different states of being, one rational and restrained, the other primal and uninhibited. I seem to be happiest when I'm working alone but too much of it leaves me lost in my own head. Sex has always been a way for me to put my analytical mind to sleep and tap into my animal nature. It brings me balance.
As someone who seems to thrive in a sexual context, I've explored sex work as a nude model, a fetish worker, a call girl, and a courtesan. In this column, I will be writing about the present and my past.
Egon Schiele, Woman in Red (1913)
Biweekly
- 08/16/2010
